Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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