once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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