we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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