My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
