Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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