Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize