I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
