i don't like sucking hair
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
