My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
