You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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