Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
