You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
