It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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