Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
