he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
