Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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