Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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