xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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