So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
