Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
even my farts smell like vagina
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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