she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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