I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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