I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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