it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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