Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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