When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
