i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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