i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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