I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.