I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone