The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went