she looked like the bat from fern gully.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
