Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
