i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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