Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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