Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
