oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
