I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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