wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I won the penis lottery.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
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I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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