yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
