so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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