Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
