Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize