No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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