I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.