he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult