I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
