It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
