i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think i have herpe
just one?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize