pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
