She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
