I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
God, I missed his penis.
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