I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
