Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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