Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
