I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
