Is it because I queefed?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
