She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
