smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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