you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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